A Democratic Guide to the Evolving Trump-Russia Narrative

In the past, we used to call it “lying” or “making excuses” or even “b-essing.” In the enlightened present, we know all of these were merely distractions, even White Supremacist plots to distort Our Truth. Sometimes, we need to get Our Truth in line with the evolving narrative. For ‘fun’ I’ve included a few non-Russia updates. You’re welcome in advance.

THEN: Trump thinks the Obama administration was SPYING on him? OMG, what a nut!

NOW: Of COURSE the Obama administration was spying on him, DUH! The guy talked to RUSSIANS!

THEN: Xenophobia sucks.

NOW: Anyone talking to any Russian is clearly a Putin operative. I mean, ALL them Russians are Putin operatives.

THEN: Harry Reid: James Comey may have broken the law. Steve Cohen, D-TN: Comey should resign for ethical violations. Chuck Schumer: I’ve lost confidence in Comey. Maxine Waters: Comey has no credibility. NY Daily News: Comey must resign.

NOW: Trump firing Comey is “Nixonian” and grounds for impeachment.

THEN: It’s just about sex! Who cares what a president’s sex life is, especially years before he was president?

NOW: “Did he use a condom ten years ago?”

THEN: CIA and FBI are the SS of the fascist Amerikkkan Empire! Look at how many democratic governments these thugs have toppled!

NOW: How DARE you criticize these brave American patriots, the most patriotic of patriots!

THEN: “Patriotism” is for bitter clingers who need guns and Bibles.

NOW: It’s your patriotic duty to Resist.

THEN: If Trump loses there will be violence in the streets.

NOW: RESIST!!!!

THEN: Democrats created the Free Speech movement. We respect diverse points of view. I may disagree with your point of view, but I’ll fight to the death for your right to hold it. The reason we HAVE free speech protections is so unpopular speech can’t be silenced.

NOW: Trumpf is a White Supremacist! Free speech is White Supremacy! Deplatform HATE!

THEN: Amy Schumer is funny.

NOW: Amy Schumer is funny.

THEN: Trump is an insane war monger!

NOW: Trump better bomb that country we’re not at war with!

THEN: Trump is Putin’s pal!

NOW: Bombing Putin allies, giving weapons to Putin’s enemies, tossing out Russian diplomats, sanctions on Russian companies are just distractions from all Trump is doing for Putin…whatever that is. (Maybe another special prosecutor is needed?)

THEN: Trump is clearly working for Putin! He hasn’t instituted the meaningless sanctions that did so much to stop Putin under Obama!

NOW: Trump bombing Putin’s pal Syria is a distraction. Again.

THEN: All-powerful government is looking into our e-mails, our actions — everything. Welcome to 1984.

NOW: We need to know who Trump slept with a decade ago, because Hillary lost.